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Moon G8 report on climate change, 2050
Written by: Jan Kellett
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Photo by REUTERS/Doug Murray
18 July, 2050 Wrapping up their first summit on the Moon, G8 leaders have strongly denied they failed to match the vision of a 2008 summit at which the world's eight strongest economies of the day promised to cut greenhouse gas emissions by half by 2050. A spokesman for the G8 (which really should be called the G10, ever since China and India were allowed to join last year, a decision long delayed despite their both having stronger economies than the other G8 members combined) poured scorn on the notion that the 2008 agreement was actually a promise that G8 members committed themselves and their countries to. Rather it was "more of a general statement of aspiration", and the fact that this summit was the first on the newly colonised Moon was due to the base's excellent spa facilities - and not because all protestors could be kept at a distance of 380,000 km. U.S. President John Bush agreed publicly with the official G8 declaration, claiming his grandfather's statement on climate change control was "just something he said right before he left office" and could not really be held up as a promise. Gordon Brown, the oldest prime minister in British history and now in his eighth term of office after surviving 13 votes of no confidence, toed the American line, denying that such agreement was due to Britain's continued military participation in the occupation of Syria and Iran. Russia, meanwhile, was one of the few countries to deviate from overall G8 message, suggesting that in fact all nations should share responsibility for the failure to meet 2008 promises. Russian President Putin and Prime Minister Medvedev (now on their 13th executive rotation) have both stated recently that the idea of reaching such an ambitious target without actually making a plan had been, in hindsight, as unlikely as not meeting a Russian billionaire whilst holidaying on the Cote d'Azur. Only Germany has sided with Russia in this debate, pushing for a more resolutely targeted stance on climate change. (Analysts believe this has something to do with Chancellor Boris Becker's problems at home. The vast migration of the Hill Myna bird to now tropical southern Germany has caused havoc since 2039, and ornithologists claim over 50 percent of the birds have now accustomed themselves to local conditions and can say "Gruss Gott" in a perfect Baden Wurtemburg accent.) Critics of the G8 and its continued lack of progress have once again highlighted how in their opinion climate change remains the foundation upon which much of the distress and misery of the world's poorest and most vulnerable is built. They chide the G8 for not realising the significance of the disappearance of the Maldives, much of Netherlands and Bangladesh and the final submerging of New Orleans. The apparent apathy and lack of involvement of more than a few G8 nations has been condemned. Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi, who recently faced down a move to remove him from power given his supposed age of 114 (a figure he has publicly denied, accusing both the opposition and the judiciary of being communist anarchists), has been unusually silent at this G8, preoccupied as he is with a reshuffle of his government, the 98th since the Second World War. The Japanese leader and first female to hold the post of prime minister, Mahoko Yoshimoto, denied she was more interested in the final unification of Korea, due within months. Meanwhile French President SarkoZy said through a top aide that he was still working on reforming the French labour market and that climate change control was pretty easy in comparison. China and India have publicly put aside their differences over access to Africa's oil. They continued to deny any involvement in proxy warfare in conflicts in Sudan, Chad and Central African Republic, and said they were still working on methods to keep Brazil from joining the G8 group. It appears this theme of continuance finally won out after the week of discussion. The final communiqué from G8 members stated that climate change, whilst still very much on the global agenda, would be examined by the world's richest countries at the summit on Mars in 2100. A spokesman said a discussion on the policy for a plan of action for the 50 percent reduction in greenhouse gas emissions was "already in preparation and in an advanced state".
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Jan Kellett was born in Northern Ireland and brought up in Wales. He has just completed eight years with the Unitd Nations, working in Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq, Indian Kashmir, Macedonia, Bangladesh, South Sudan, almost always post-conflict or post-disaster, the long days waiting behind checkpoints on the way to Belfast airport finally proving an invaluable lesson in patience and reminding him always to pack the travel scrabble. The last three years were spent almost exclusively on coordination of the U.N. itself post-crisis.
22 Jul 2008 02:27:15 GMT
The G8 summit on earth has to be the most expensive talking shop and tree planting service ever in the history of this planet! And talking of the planet - At the heart of climate change is our traditional belief that we can take from the planet without giving back. The earth and all of its resources are being taken and converted into PROFIT at a rate never before seen in our history. Our advances in technology and the advent of the global village have intensified this human endeavor to a point now where the planet can no longer sustain these intensive financial demands. Seeking ever increasing levels of profit, as the primary goal of the corporate sector, is becoming an impossible task as is illustrated by its effect upon basic food and energy prices which are now rising to unaffordable levels. This traditional form of financial management and incentive, as applied to our natural resources, can only cause wide spread starvation and discontent, which is now becoming apparent in the drive for ever increasing levels of profit. To turn the corner we must not eradicate profit but move the emphasis away from it as a primary requirement of business. This change in emphasis will introduce greater balance within the environment and ensure we begin to replace and better manage that which we are currently taking out without heed or hindrance.