WITNESS-In India they pray for my baby to be a boy
27 Sep 2007 20:00:15 GMT Source: Reuters
By Nita Bhalla NEW DELHI, Sept 27 (Reuters) - From day one, my unborn child has been under the scrutiny of practically everyone I meet in India, from my neighbour to beggars on the roadsides of the capital -- each praying that my baby will be a boy. "I will distribute sweets to the entire neighbourhood if you have a boy," said my wealthy neighbour who owns a call centre company in the suburbs. Others have an ulterior motive for blessing me with a boy. "Please give me some rupees," said the pig-tailed little girl in ragged clothes who knocked on the window of my taxi as it stopped at the traffic lights in bustling New Delhi. "God will bless you with a son," she adds, looking down at my hugely eight-month pregnant belly. In this conservative patriarchal society, no one asks if you want a boy or girl. It is taken for granted. A son will carry on the family name, become the breadwinner, look after you when you are old and, for some faiths, ensure your soul's salvation after death by performing your last rites. For many Indians, girls are a burden you can do without. First, you have to worry about protecting their chastity. Most Indians believe a woman should be a virgin at the time of marriage. Then you have to pay for their upkeep -- feed, clothe and educate them. And all for what? For her to get married and contribute to another household. But most importantly, if you have a daughter you will most likely have to pay a substantial dowry to get her married off, despite the practice being banned. "People see a daughter as a wasted expenditure ... it's like watering your neighbour's plant," said one women's rights activist. Some are so desperate for a boy that they will risk their own health and that of their baby's, choosing to deliver at home with no medical help rather than in a clinic where there have been reports that newborn boys are stolen or switched for girls. "I have given birth to all my children at home," said Najma, my maid, who is a mother of four girls. "Each time, I thought it was a boy and didn't want to risk the clinic stealing it." SEX TEST TABOO In India, curious soon-to-be parents cannot just pop in to see their obstetrician for a quick ultrasound to know whether they should buy pink or blue booties. Sex determination tests have been outlawed since 1994 as many parents and doctors will abort a girl. Signs outside hospital radiology departments warn you that disclosing the gender of your baby is a crime and you are made to sign forms pledging you will not ask the sex of your child. During the ultrasound, the sonographer slides the transducer across your gel-covered bulge -- careful not to move it too near the foetus' developing sex organs in case you spot something you should not in the fuzzy black and white image. But despite tests being illegal, the United Nations says 2,000 female foetuses are illegally aborted everyday, leading to skewed sex ratios in many parts of the country. "It's so easy to find out, you just pay them some money and even the most reputable hospitals will tell you," said a friend whose wife recently gave birth at a top New Delhi hospital. Sex selective abortions are a lucrative business here. Reporting on doctors dumping unborn baby girls in dry wells or hiding foetuses in the septic tanks of their clinics -- while having a human being growing inside me -- has given me a new perspective on the value of life. I will be sure to celebrate the birth of my child with much fanfare -- boy or girl. (You can read more Reuters Witness stories by clicking on the URL http://www.reuters.com/news/globalcoverage/reutersWitnesses or by typing it into the address bar of your browser)
